Is there something wrong with me? Why do the tears still flow so easily? Why do the tears come without warning? Why am I sometimes swept into deep sadness? Why does it appear that people have forgotten? Why does the fact that it seems like people have forgotten make me so mad? Why do I feel so alone in my grief?
I wish that I could talk to my dad about the hurt in my heart, but I don't want to upset him. I mention things in passing to my brother, and they are ignored. I have one sister who said "You have to find a way to cope." And another sister who is absent all together.
The co-worker's husband died. He held on much longer than my mom. What is his widow feeling now? I feel like such a baby, that I have no business feeling this badly...when so many others are dealing with harder things. Yet here I sit, feeling my sadness, alone...and all I can do is feel sorry for myself. How pathetic.
